Leaders routinely asking for feedback from their subordinates is rare. There seems to be a pervasive line of thought that assigns the leader in the role of teacher and subordinates as students; leader as guide, subordinates as merely followers. There are certain questions that are implied (and lived) in this line of thought:
What can the students possibly teach the teacher?
How can the followers possibly inform the guide?
The answer is actually very obvious. The students can teach the teacher if the lessons are having the intended impact and the followers have the best advantage to see the dangers that come from behind the guide. Leaders routinely asking for feedback from their subordinates is so rare, neither side does it well. Leaders don’t really know how or what to ask and direct reports very often provide feedback that is not helpful.
What follows is a Feedback Model with a three-part structure (1. Focus, 2. Frame, 3. Feedback). As an executive coach I have used this model to help leaders ask for feedback, receive information that is helpful and actionable. That has resulted in stronger relationships among their teams.
Focus
Asking for feedback begins with a narrowed request. When Ed Koch was mayor of New York City he was famous for asking people on the street for feedback on his performance. As he walked down the street, he would shout to anyone who greeted him by asking “How am I doing?” The typical response he received was “You’re doing great!” That response is not helpful because it is not actionable because the question was too vague.
To get good feedback, begin your request with an opening that sharpen the focus of your direct report by narrowing the context:
- When I said…
- When I did…
- Was it useful to you when I said…
- Was it useful to you when I did…
- When you consider my….
- With regard to my….
Frame
It is useful to ask to their feedback using the frames: More – Same – Less. These frames identify the direction of any actions you might take on a given area of feedback.
- What would you like for me to do more of?
- What would you like for me to do continue to do the same?
- What would you like for me to do less of?
Feedback…on the feedback
The third part of the structure is to provide feedback on the feedback that you have been given. When you ask for feedback, plan for when and how you will respond. You will have two types of responses. Your first response will be your immediate, in the moment reaction. You may hear things said about you that feel uncomfortable and you may not agree with everything said. Resist the urge to correct, fully explain or any of the various responses that will be interpreted as being defensive. In the moment, you can show curiosity by asking one, not more than two clarifying questions. In the end, your immediate response is “Thank you for the feedback!” You are thanking the person for their time, effort, honesty and bravery.
A second response comes after you have had time to fully digest the feedback and you have created a plan for what and how you will incorporate what you have heard.
With a few days (no more than a week), reconnect with the person(s) who gave the feedback to give a brief outline on what you learned and how you will use it.
THE HIDDEN BENEFIT – ROLE MODELING
The obvious and primary benefit of asking for feedback is your growth as a leader. A secondary and less obvious benefit is when you develop a habit of routinely asking for feedback, you act as a role model for how you expect your direct reports to receive your feedback. The way you ask teaches how to ask. The way you respond teaches how to respond. The way you give feedback on the feedback teaches how to give feedback on the feedback. By using this method, you model the culture you want to build by communication an expectation for how you want your direct reports to ask for feedback from their subordinates. You do that by asking your direct reports; “What have you learned from the feedback you have received from your direct reports?”
PS: There is a current focus on psychological safety in the workplace. There should be a history of demonstrated psychological safety in order to get the full benefits of feedback from your direct reports. The use of this model strengthens psychological safety.